Remember when I changed my tagline to allow for musings? This is a musing. It’s based on real life, though I won’t name names. It’s a haphazard musing, as my musings tend to me, so consider yourself warned. Some of my readers may recognize this situation, as a few of them have been through it with me several times over.
The “rules” of chivalry say that it is chivalrous to carry stuff for ladies. Okay, simple enough. I can do that.
(Side note: I’m not writing this post to discuss what the rules of chivalry are, what they should be, or even if they should be followed. I’m writing this because I want to be chivalrous, and this is a point I wanted to ponder.)
Where my question comes from is my profession of filmmaking. As somebody who is used to one-man shoots, I don’t even think twice about loading up with all four or five bags and cases I need to tote along. It’s something I learned to do out of necessity.
Here’s my question. Am I being chivalrous when I’m filmmaking with a young lady (which I often do), and partially ’cause it’s automatic now, and partially ’cause I want to honor her by being chivalrous, I proceed to pile everything on and set off?
And then she asks, “Is there something I can carry?”
Now, is it more chivalrous to say, “I’ve got it, thanks,” or, “Sure, carry this,”?
It’s always been a bit of a puzzle for me, since the very goal of chivalry, to me, is to honor ladies by serving them. And I never quite know how that particular question is expected to be answered. Which answer serves the lady in question more? Or are both equally fine?
I go for the latter answer. I figure that she asked, so it’s okay to hand something over. Now that I’m analyzing my response, I think I do it because to me, it feels prideful and dishonoring to refuse to allow her to help.
Do I pick the “right” answer? What do you think?
By the way, to those readers who do recognize this situation… Don’t take this as a request for you to change your actions. I’m just pondering the question.
(This is my 100th post!)