My dearest Oxford Comma,
I love you. There will never be any doubt about that.
I will never, ever let you go. You are so lovely when you sit quietly in my sentence, keeping its meaning clear. You are beautiful, practical, and indispensable.
I know that many people hate you. Please understand that I will defend you to the last. I will protect you from those who want to abolish you and I won’t let them hurt you.